Letting go is hard to do, I admit it. Relationships, jobs, places, and everything in between… I struggle big time. For the last couple of months, I’ve been feeling like my time is up with my company and my position. It’s not like a terrible thing happened and I was fed up all of a sudden, rather a progression of things that made me think I could do better. I could do more, I could learn more, I could grow more.
At the same time, I was terrified to leave. After almost three years of working there, I was finally comfortable in my role, had a great reputation and built solid relationships with my co-workers. I didn’t WANT to leave. I didn’t WANT to find a new job. I didn’t WANT to start over. I didn’t want to let go, I wanted to fix what was broken.
The problem with that, is you start blaming yourself for why things aren’t working out the way you think they should. “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not trying hard enough,” “There’s something wrong with me.” Instead of looking for solutions, you’re focusing on the negative, and resisting the obvious change you need to make.
Letting go is hard to do because you’re abandoning the known for the unknown. You’re leaving behind your comfort zone and taking a leap of faith. If you’re like me, instead of thinking what can go right, you start thinking of what can go wrong.
So, for months, I was confused and anxious and had no idea what I was going to do. I changed my mind about my future plans on a daily basis. One day I was going to move to California, then Texas, then I was going to live on an island, then I was going to stay in Connecticut. I was driving myself and everyone around me crazy.
As time passed, I couldn’t make the nagging voice in my head saying I needed to move on go away. So, at the end of July, I finally bit the bullet and applied for a job I kept seeing online with a great company. My resume wasn’t perfect and I wasn’t 100% ready to move on, but I decided to go for it anyway.
After multiple interviews and much back and forth, I am excited to say that I got a new job (yesterday was actually my first day!!) and I’ll be moving to Stamford, CT next month. I can’t wait to take on this new challenge and also be in a new city! Shout out to everyone who’s been putting up with me for the last couple of months while I was deciding what to do and where to go. I feel really good about this next chapter of my life.
If any of you are going through a tough/confusing time right now, I hope you keep going. Take that leap of faith you’ve been thinking about and let go of things that no longer serve you. It might not be easy, but it’ll be worth it. And if you ever need someone to talk to, please reach out to me.
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